50,500 Kilometres later....

And so ends my blogging...thank god I hear you say. The tour is almost over. Lila is safely back home and I leave Monday, arriving back in the UK at some unearthly hour before the sun has come up and no doubt before the Woking Railair link starts working!

I had originally decided to stay a few extra days in Sydney after the Test match so that I could enjoy the atmosphere after we had retained the Ashes. In reality this has meant a thoroughly miserable time watching beaming Aussie faces everywhere and smug TV presenters to contend with. However there is a shining light on the horizon as I see Lord Vaughan has been appointed 1 day captain with immediate effect.

So to escape from the Aussie party I took myself off to Manley beach yesterday on the ferry and had a thoroughly good time watching the world from the beach. I conveniently choose a spot within distance of a women's beach volleyball contest going on so that I could contemplate my expedition.

What have I learnt from 2 months away I mused? Well certainly I could see myself living in New Zealand and/or Australia in the future. The people and pace of life is so much nicer out here. Strangers are friendly, prices are reasonable and the climate is much better. In fact I'd say if wasn't for the fact that I'm blessed with wonderful family (in-laws included) and friends in Blighty, there is very little that I would miss about living in the UK. Actually, let me go back on that...I'm dying for a decent pint! The beer out here really is poor!

On the flip side I am also looking forward to being able to walk out my front door without spending 10 minutes caking myself in suncream and having to don shades and a cap to avoid the sun!

I now have 10 days to get life back to a normal routine before my next trip to Schiffau and I guess some catching-up is required with a trip to Christchurch first on the priority list. I guess a trip to Adams Park is also in order as I reach the 20th Anniversary of my first ever Wycombe game. It's nice that Mourinho has agreed to mark this landmark by bringing his premiership all-stars down to give us a game. I'm not predicting a scoreline because as many people have pointed out to me, I did say the Ashes would be 1-1 and therefore perhaps I ought to keep my views to myself in future. Although despite this BBC East Midlands have been on the phone asking if I could help their sports reporter to raise his prognostic game.

Chobham's AGM has been coveniently slotted into my return to the country, so hopefully the lads will lose their collective common sense yet again and vote Squiffy and I back into power. I promise that I have learnt nothing from Freddie's captaincy this trip, so we should stand a reasonable chance!

All in all, a great tour with some very happy memories to take home. Perhaps I'll do the same again in 2010/11 when hopefully we'll make a better hash of defending the Ashes. Although I hear that we touring New Zealand in early 2008....

Up the Monty

Ant/ Swiss/ Casper/ Rigsby/ Bally

New Year in Sydney

so 2006 comes to an end and 2007 was brought in in style with the backdrop of the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House as company. No doubt that this was the most expensive meal I have ever bought in my life...won't go into detail...but suffice to say that my Bank Manager will be looking for a 1-2-1 when I get back for some financial tutition.

We were treated to a 5 course banquet over the course of the hours of 7 - 11:30 whilst we waited for the fireworks and in order it looked like this. Canapes * duck with wild mushroom salad * Ocean trout * Venison loin * chocolate cheescake. We just about managed to avoid the Elton John diet routine to be able to move from our table to the quayside to take in midnight. The food was awesome!

The fireworks were spectacular as I sure you saw from the BBC news and it looked like the whole of Circular quay was lit up as rockets shooted from every building and bridge conceivable. Apparently 1 million people were in the quay area that night and it felt like it! The volume of pedestrians was enormous.

New Year's Day involved another trek to the Opera House so that we could see it properly in the daylight and also to do a bit of celeb spotting. Stuart Clark pushing his toddler around the Rocks and Dicky Branson having lunch on his rather impressive yacht in the harbour. It was also an opportunity to catch up with Lila's friend Veronica who took us to a rather nice bar with a birds'eye view of the Bridge.

I've not got too much to say on the Sydney test as I've not seen a live ball bowled yet. Unfortunately tickets were in short supply, so I'm only going to days 3,4 and 5 if it goes that far. Although it does look interestingly poised at the moment and it was good to hear that Sir Frederick has managed some runs for a change. So, instead Veronica whisked us off to the Hunter Valley and we had a pleasurable couple of days tasting the local cheese and wine. Lila in fact set a personal record of 30 different wines during an afternoon session and is currently attached to a saline drip in the hotel room! Talking of which, Hotel Pensione in Sydney...not so good...Think Backpacker motel with the added bonus of a 5 star price tariff. Complaints will be lodged!

Lila in fact heads home tomorrow leaving me a further 4 days before I have to return to the grindstone. Oh no, forgot that I have a skiing holiday as soon as I get back, so it's a good job that I've probably got a job sorted out to start in February as the financial toll is getting a little cumbersome.

And finally 2006 highlights...

* Skipper's chat up line in a nightclub in Latvia, "you see Agnieszka,the thing about the common agricultural policy..."
* My catch against Byfleet that will be surely on Chobham DVD's for years to come
* working with the recruitment team at Unilever and meeting some extra-ordinarily gifted people
* catching up with Hoogs & Wheelo in Oz, Andy in the US after a couple of years
* Craaaaaaiiiiggg David's skiing clothing
* Gaining a world tour sponsor

Lowlights...
* My drop against Valley End that cost us the game...Sorry lads!
* Watching the Ashes lost with the complete contempt for the English cricketing public shown by the team.
* Getting goosed in a Cheltenham nightclub by a member of my own sex.

All in all a good year, let's hope that 2007 comes up to scratch and starts with a Carling Cup Final appearance in February

Happy New Year all

Warne gets 700

As a postscript to my last post, forgot to mention that we played a game of collecting silly place names in Kiwi-land. There's loads of them, including Paki-Paki, Pukepuke, Whappapapa and Wanganui to name but a few!

Melbourne is living upto its reputation of providing 4 seasons in one day and so far it has mostly beeb autumnal. As those who sat through the test highlights will have spotted, we have had a bit of rain which has made it feel like Xmas back home. Last time we were here, the weather was 40 degrees on Xmas day in 2002, so it was quite a contrast.

The test match can be glossed over as I don't think that there is anything to add to 3 days of complete misery except for the morning of day 2, when we had the convicts at 86-5. Managed to tick another lifelong ambition today which is to be picked out by the cameramen and be shown on the big screen at the ground. I hope the Chobham cap stood out on any highlights and if anybody saw it back home? I'm aware that the cameraman probably picked out the young lady with the colossal carambas behind me to focus on, although they might have been playing spot the whitest man in Oz?

The head was very sore this morning and I don't think Liloushka surfaced until 11am this morning as we both suffering the excesses of a night out with the Hoogmeister. Chobham's other overseas player of 2004 was in fine form and wished to remembered to all who had the pleasure of watching him attempt to bat or bowl darts. Jenny, you'll be pleased to hear that Ben has kept his physique intact (unlike his porky mate Tim) and we've got some great pictures for you when we see you!

In fact it will be quite a social week as fellow Wanderer fans Ian & Helen are in town and then Lila's other sister Louise & Alex arrive later on today, so we're certainly not short of people to see. All I need is the cricket team to stop ruining my hols and this would be turning into a super experience, although the early demise today has given me two unexpected sight-seeing days which I'm sure will earn me bonus points with Lila. I think a visit up the Rialto tower beckons.

And finally good to see that I go into 2007 in second place in the fantasy league. I hope that the rest of the league pull their socks up and try and give Don and I some competition next year. And Chris Waldron, what's going on? You're dropping quicker than Flintoff's batting average!

We fly to Sydney on New Year's eve and are both very excited about our 5 course banquet overlooking the fireworks on the harbour bridge. It should certainly beat the Jaipur in Woking as a view.

Happy New year all

ps When will get to see any major English landmarks? I've seen Warne get 700 test wickets, Tugga get his 10,000th test run and watched the connies get the Ashes. I must be a jinx.

Happy Xmas!!

First of all to say happy Christmas to everybody back home! Hope you have a lovely restful day and enjoy your holidays. Secondly, somewhere in a bar in Ilkley, the Skipper will be drowning himself in Tetley's to celebrate another passing of a year of his life...sorry I'm not there, but I hope that you and Phyllis have a goodnight. Chappers, if you're up there, can you buy the young whipper snapper a beer from me?

Pleased to report that the sun came out and the cloud lifted on Friday and revealed New Zealand to be the most spectacularly stunning place on earth. The countryside is just amazing! Think Wales, but without the male choirs and Wrexham lager and put in on a much bigger scale. It is just incredible, miles upon miles of rolling green hills, volcanic mountains and crystal clear lakes. We got upto Lake Taupo and saw the Huka Falls, the Craters of the Moon (A geothermal region, where the ground literally smokes - in fact Skipper, I would have for once, loved one of your ever so interesting lectures of igneous rock formation at this point for a change!), and thankfully the blue sky enabled us to climb to 15,000 feet and jump out of a aeroplane with little but a knapsack and a trained instructor for company.

Breath-taking is not the word! You are desperate for it to stop, just so you can take in the views, but unfortunately gravity has the effect of pulling you down to 5,000 foot in a minute 10 and then you get 4 minutes of parachuting. By this time, I was stone deaf as the pressure difference had caused my ears to fail, but it truly was an amazing feeling! I'm sure Lila will bore you all with the DVD that she had filmed off her coming down in due course (all set to Guns n Roses as a musical backdrop)...we're were buzzing for the rest of the day!

Then it was back to tin-can for a drive back down the north island, where we pretended to be Hobbits at the base of Mount Doom. Sorry, David you would have loved to have seen it. You can see why Peter Jackson choose NZ as the setting for Middle-Earth. It's just as the book describes.

We've just got back to Wellington and are planning to have a celebratory drink or two. Not for Christmas, celebrating that we manged to survive 4 days in a 2-berth without causing serious damage to each other! Then, it's back to Melbourne on Christmas day to see Warney retire and England lose the Ashes 3-2.

Have a good christmas all

Ant/Swiss/Rigsby/Bally/ Casper

ps Chelsea, huh. Looks like a weekend in South Wales in late February beckons. I can't believe my brother has booked a skiing holiday that will mean that I miss the 2nd leg! You owe me big time Bro!

It's just like being back home!

No cricketing disasters to report on, but one fantastic footy result! Wycombe in the semi-finals of the Carling Cup with Spurs/Chelsea and Arsenal or Liverpool, It's like 2001 all over again. Fantastic result boys and shows what a jinx I am when I go to live sporting events! Perhaps I should stay away more often?

Anyhow, no travel problems getting from Perth to New Zealand, had a great view of Sydney Harbour bridge as we landed in NSW and even had time to have a few pops overlooking the city as we waited for our connection. New Zealand apparently is beautiful, and when the clouds lift and it stops monsooning, perhaps we'll be able to enjoy it as it is throwing it down! Not usually a problem, but when you're living in a tin-can for a few days and it rains incessantly all night...bit tricky to sleep.

We've just arrived at our second campsite and have a beach-side view in Napier. Although you wouldn't know it from the gloomy view outside the back of the van! Not convinced that we're both entirely cut out for the "outdoor" life, but we're coping with the chemical toilet and campsite showering facilities with a "always look on the bright side of life" mentality!

We're thinking the chances of doing the planned sky-dive over Lake Taupo tomorrow might be in doubt as the forecast is poor and I really don't think you're supposed to entrust your life to a sheet of polythene in 80 mph winds! Ho hum, it would be great if we could get up there as I've always wanted to do a sky-dive.

Up the Monty

ps, Zulu, thanks for your posts, you're right life could be worse..I could be a South African cricket supporter. Think how bad you'd feel if all your best talent got exported abroad... Any more Pietersen's up your sleeve?

Roll on 2009!

Not a lot to say really, we have been soundly beaten by a much better organised side. The first hour was hugely enjoyable as Freddy got himself into some kind of form with a quick fire 50, hitting Lee for 13 in one over and then Clark for three consecutive fours in the next. After he got out, surprise, surprise we were skittled very quickly, losing the last 5 for 14 runs.

You should make a note to watch the highlights tonight if anything for Jones the Glove's dismissal. In medieval times, they would have put him in the stocks and pelted him with rotten veg for a week....unbelievable it was. If any of the Chobham boys did that, they would struggle to be picked the following week! It was shocking to see such amateurness at the top level.

The only talking point after the game was the rather excessive celebrations that Fat boy Warne did in front of the Barmy army...perhaps being harrangued for the loss of his hair and his wife for the last four weeks had wound him up a little!

The only consolation is that in 2009, Bell, Cook, KP, Strauss will be fully fledged test cricketers, whilst the Aussies will be looking for replacements for Hayden, Langer, Martyn, McGrath, Lee, Warne and Gilchrist. Perhaps by then Lord Vaughan will have had his knees replaced and we can get back to the natural order of things!

Carry on up the Monty

Hopefully they won't be gone for another 16 years...

I do hope that in 24 hours time somebody will be able to send me a text or e-mail throwing the title of this chapter back in my face! 300 runs to get, 5 wickets left and/or 90 overs to defend...I think I know the answer before I turn up tomorrow. Although on the plus side, I really didn't think that there would be a 5th day in Perth, All due credit to belly and Captain Cook for a tremendous second wicket partnership of 170. In fact I'd go so far to say that today has been the most enjoyable day's cricket I've watched so far this series.

I was really impressed that the two youngsters showed some real grit and intelligence in pursuit of this rather large total. Obviously disappointed that Cook got out with 3 overs left, but he was clearly shattered from 6 hours batting in 36 degree temperatures. I was a little more disappointed with Strauss' dismissal the previous night, I do hope that Rob has put together a Rudi Voodoo doll that you can stab to your heart's content! Hopefully it will be the last we see of the South African umpire this series and the ICC might send him out to retire with Darrell Hair!

It was a shame on Day 3 that we bowled fairly well, but the luck went with Hussey (3 dropped half chances) and Gilly was in unstoppable form. In fact, I was a little disappointed that he didn't break Sir Viv's 20 year record as he thoroughly deserved it for some monster hitting.

I read from the press that Fletcher is coming under increasing pressure back home. I really hope that the ECB do the sensible thing and keep him in post. Ok he has made some duff selection decisions this tour, but he has got England from bottom to 2nd ranked country in the world during his 7 year reign, which shouldn't be forgotten. I hope that the ECB do the same as the Aussie cricket board and give a tested unit the chance to put right the errors and poor showing from what a been a massively disappointing tour. Ponting was allowed to regroup with the same squad and coaching support and look what happened. However I fear there will be a mass clamour for change in the press and the weak-willed ECB will succumb to populist pressure.

On a personal note, I had some very sad news this weekend with the loss of the family cat Biggles. The old boy had had a good innings of 17 and a half, but ill health failed him at the end which is to be expected with a cat that old. He has been a part of my life from before I went to University, which I don't need reminding is some time ago, so I have felt very down today. Ma & Pa, I'm sorry I can't be around but hope you come to terms with our loss.

Liloushka will be experiencing her first day's test cricket tomorrow so hopefully KP and Freddy can both notch up 150s and we can go on a 24 hour bender to celebrate! Oh, actually we have a 10am flight on Tuesday to Wellington, New Zealand so perhaps we'll have to take it easy! Yes, this is the part of the holiday where we really test our relationship and see if we can cope in a motorhome for 4 days. Lila has been press-ganged into chemical toilet detail if I do all the driving. We also get the chance to do a 15,000 foot sky-dive over Lake Taupo next week, so If I don't post for a few months, it cos I is shacked up in a Kiwi hospital in intensive traction therapy.

Up the Monty